you are his masterpiece

Welp, once again I regret taking pictures of a painting with my iPhone. As always, about half way down, the photo darkens, obscuring detail and dimension. Awesome. This painting has been kind of a rough ride, until the very end.
Even though I toughed it out enough to call it done, her flaws and failures are still there..glaring at me. I find a little comfort in knowing that I have brought her as far as I knew to take her. 

Colossians 3:23 

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

I have to remind myself to be glad that her failures reveal the limits of my capabilities. The discipline of oil-painting may develop my skills and creativity, but the honesty in sharing my art develops my soul. That old saying, "beauty is pain," has be true because, I have found humbleness to be both beautiful and painful. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

2 Corinthians 11:30

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

Originally, my intentions for this piece was for it to be a quick exercise to encourage the frequency of my own productivity. That didn't happen, in fact, it began to get complicated and I fussed for far too long, reworking major features. Soon after she started to go down hill, I took a break from her. When I came back to finish her, I discovered that this "practice piece" was reflecting a little bit of where I'm at right now. At this point in my life, I feel like that wandering woman- with nothing to show for myself. To me, the jackalope represents God's truth- waiting to be discovered among the world's vast fields of apathy and dense forests of self-indulgence. Those rare moments when I feel like truth has found me, I've learned to cling tightly. I fasten my grip, regardless of how uncomfortable it is to be set so far apart from the elitists in society who claim they know what I'm all about (this rabbit hole doesn't fit with my blogs focus, so I'll spare you the rant). My point is, that I have never been wise enough to discover truth on my own, it has always found me, sometimes indirectly but it's source has always been the same.   

     

Its been my experience that when you least expect it, God hands us irrefutable truths, subsequently compelling or heart to abandon huge chunks of our comforting certainty. I've found it to be sort of counterintuitive that, when you seek his wisdom, our black and white world becomes increasingly more grey and the beige uncertainty tends to weld our trust to Him; our faith begins to trump our once formulaic, right and wrong way of navigating through life. In the rare moments when we are humble enough to allow it, God steps in and removes our handcrafted facade of control, gracefully shining light on his truth. He masterfully incorporates our failures into his glorious and beautiful design. 


Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

In these moments, I am reminded that creation- in all of it's grandeur, is His craft. There is something so beautiful about being cornered into honesty while you are in the middle of creating something. When your mind is wrestling with your capabilities and limitations, while you're struggling to communicate through your gifts. Even when your brain is fully occupied with creativity, the holy spirit will quietly respond to challenges of your heart much deeper than your focus..before you've even spoken. It's because of this that I understand why we associate art with communication; why we ask that ridiculous question, "what is this piece saying to you?" Suddenly, it's not that ridiculous, but rather, amazing to realize that sometimes, the communicator is your maker. Out of love, he is constantly working on you; because, you are his masterpiece. 

Amos 4:13

For behold, he who forms the mountains and creates the wind, and declares to man what is his thought, who makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth— the Lord, the God of hosts, is his name!

Jeremiah 10:12 

It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens.

Genesis 1:27

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

some giggles for fellow art nerds

I found this short video on HuffPost Arts & Culture today, it kind of falls under the "must share" category.  A rap battle between Pablo Picasso and Bob Ross.... um, yes please!!  

However, I'd like to think that they would have been great friends had they met in the same lifetime. Good ole Pab and Bob, I like the way that sounds.  

Enjoy the rest of your Monday.

Seek whatever is true, good and beautiful

Above is a Leonardo da Vinci study that I drew last night. "She" broke in my newest sketch book, fulfilling the hope that was mentioned in my last post. I am not stoked on referencing pre-existing fine art, but hey, I'm studying Leonardo, a man gifted with drawing truisms and mastery.

I love this quote by painter Andrew Wyeth, "I can’t work completely out of my imagination. I must put my foot in a bit of truth; and then I can fly free." 

Below are three profound multimedia artworks, each delivered from a different platform. All are definitely aesthetically pleasing, but in each of these pieces- its power actually lies in its truth. 

  

(click here for the full BuzzFeed article)

Faith47 (street artist from South Africa) 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Easily Discouraged

Last Friday night, our glamorous date has proven that the bearded fellow and I are rapidly aging. While he read a philosophy book, I did a pencil study of a Spanish Baroque painting at our local coffee shop. 

I love my new sketch for a couple reasons; First, the way that the sketchbook has cropped out her right arm reminds me of that same illusion when a "selfie" picture is taken, hilarious. Secondly, out of the blue I decided to draw from a masterpiece and instantly, my capacity of understanding light and form ballooned! I got so excited by the immediate growth that I went out and bought two art books, one on Bernini and the other on Leonardo da Vinci. I also purchased a new sketchbook with vellum finish paper, that will be specifically dedicated to drawing studies. This may seem a bit revealing for an artist but I am publicly sharing this information because I struggle so much with focus and I am easily discouraged. My hope is that this is the first post of many drawing studies to come. I'm documenting for accountability and to record possible technical growth; I am encouraging my heart to be persistent. For me, pursuing art requires me to aggressively battle my most controlling personal assumption, inadequacy. Am I the only one that struggles with that? 

an honest struggle

"The Potato Eaters"

1885

oil on canvas 

32"x44"

What makes Vincent Van Gogh so interesting to me is his constant struggle. In my opinion, that is what makes him and his work relatable. 

In a letter, he told his sister that his own painting of peasants eating potatoes was his best work. When "The Potato Eaters" was criticized by his artist friend Anthon van Rappard soon after it was painted, it hurt his confidence as an emerging artist. Van Gogh wrote back to his friend, "you...had no right to condemn my work in the way you did" (July 1885), and later, "I am always doing what I can't do yet in order to learn how to do it." (August 1885)

He told his brother that he wanted expand into portraits after predominantly painting "little green landscapes and flowers". Van Gogh painted from life and couldn't afford models to pose, so he bought a mirror to explore portraiture. Between the years of 1886 and 1889, Van Gogh painted over 30 self-portraits. He used portrait painting as a method of introspection and a method of developing his skills as an artist. 

To his artist friends, Van Gogh would send artworks with accompanying letters, in which humbly revealed his thoughts and processes. In these letters (including some to Paul Gauguin and Émile Bernard), he would share truths and philosophies that he discovered along the way. Below is an excerpt of a letter to his bother and then one from a letter he wrote to friend and painter, Gauguin.

“The third picture this week is a portrait of myself, almost colourless, in ashen tones against a background of pale veronese green. I purposely bought a mirror good enough to enable me to work from my image in default of a model, because if I can manage to paint the colouring of my own head, which is not to be done without some difficulty, I shall likewise be able to paint the heads of other good souls, men and women."

"I strongly urge you to study portrait painting, do as many portraits as you can and don't flag. We must win the public over later on by means of the portrait; in my opinion it is the thing of the future."

I just love Vincent Van Gogh. Most of all, I admire his posture of humbleness which seems to have a great deal to do with his philosophical perspective. I've found that the underlined shared experience that all artists have is struggle. For me, that discovery is mind blowing. All of the sudden, my own painting endeavors seem less like a solitary exploration of this big world. That bit of knowledge gives me the permission to feel as if I have part in this global collaboration that we call art. Below are some of the Van Gogh quotes that further propelled me into this daydream land:

"In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing." -Vincent Van Gogh

"Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again." -Vincent Van Gogh

"When I have a terrible need of - shall I say the word - religion. Then I go out and paint the stars." -Vincent Van Gogh

"But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things." -Vincent Van Gogh

"I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent Van Gogh

Enjoy this one minute video of a mash up of Van Gogh's self-portraits.

beauty is a value

Above is Roger Scruton's film, Why Beauty Matters. Below is a link and excerpt from Combustus's two part discussion on topics revealed by the film.

Why Beauty Matters: Philosopher Roger Scruton & Theologian, Painter, Michael Pearce On Why We Need to Reclaim Art for the Soul

Art matters. Let’s start from there. Regardless of your personal tastes or aesthetics as you stand before a painting, slip inside a photograph, run your hand along the length of a sculpture, or move your body to the arrangements spiraling out of the concert speakers…something very primary ~ and primal ~ is happening. And much of it sub-conscious. There’s an element of trust.
Political philosopher, Hannah Arendt (1906 – 1975), defined artworks as “thought things,” ideas given material form to inspire reflection and rumination. Dialog.
Sometimes even discomfort. So we know that art matters. But the question posed by modern philosophers such as Roger Scruton, of Oxford University, is: how do we want it to affect us?
Are we happy with the direction art is taking? Namely, says, Scruton, away from seeking “higher virtues” such as beauty and craftmanship, and instead, towards novelty for novelty’s sake, provoking emotional response under the guise of socio-political discourse.
In his compelling video, “Why Beauty Matters,” the philosopher asks us to wake up and start demanding something more from art other than disposable entertainment. “Through the pursuit of beauty,” suggests Scruton, “we shape the world as our own and come to understand our nature as spiritual beings. But art has turned its back on beauty and now we are surrounded by ugliness.”
The great artists of the past, says Scruton, “were aware that human life was full of care and suffering, but their remedy was beauty. The beautiful work of art brings consolation in sorrow and affirmation…It shows human life to be worthwhile.”
But many modern artists, argues the philosopher, have become weary of this “sacred task” and replaced it with the “randomness” of art produced merely to gain notoriety.
As example, Scruton points to Marcel Duchamp’s famous repurposing of a urinal into a sculpture he titled,“Fountain“ and signed with a pseudonym. Duchamp’s argument being that the value of any object lies solely in what each individual assigns it, and thus, anything can be declared “art,” and anyone an artist.
But is there something wrong with the idea that everything is art and everyone an artist? If we celebrate the democratic ideals of all citizens being equal and therefore their input having equal value, doesn’t Duchamp’s assertion make sense?
Who’s to say, after all, what constitutes beauty?
What follows are my interviews with two heavy-hitters in this discourse: Roger Scruton, who holds a PhD in philosophy from Cambridge University (his thesis being on aesthetics), and Michael Pearce, a theologian who teaches figure painting and drawing at California Lutheran University, in Thousand Oaks, California, and who himself is also an accomplished painter. Click here for part II.

falsetto brush strokes

I shot that picture last Saturday. Dad was in the back corner of his studio packing extra paint for the Marceline event. (click here for more info on Nyle Gordon)

For his 51st birthday, I planned a trip to see him for a whole week. Between traveling to art shows, hanging his collection at various venues and teaching oil painting classes in two different cities, we found a week that would work. My dad is the hardest working man I know. So, it didn't surprise me when I flew in last Tuesday, to find that we had a full schedule ahead of us as well as a judged Plein Air Paint Out in Marceline, MO to end the week. Regardless of our many obligations, dad promised to make time for a practice run before the event. I was thankful for this promise for a few reasons: A. I have only done one (totally awful) plein air before this and B. Twenty-five other professional artists were going to be there and C. I can always learn from him. Long story short, I didn't have time to practice until the day before the competition. I set up in the front yard and you would think that I've never painted before. My easel kept collapsing on me, my painting fell in the dirt, I lost the my turpentine cap in a deep hole in the ground, (which was later dug out by dad with my pallet knife). Little winged creatures kept swooping in and sticking to my wet paint. I was a ridiculous mess. I was so used to the comforts and slow pace of my studio work. Let me just say, photo realism, unlike plein air, is indoors protected from violent winds and harsh sun rays. The best part of studio painting is that your subject is already cropped leaving you with a tidy preconceived composition to paint without shadows shifting on you. So, by the time I quit the practice painting I was panicked, and sun burnt but mostly panicked. That night, (the night before the event), dad sensed my frustrations and preformed quick demo while explaining tips as well as different natural light theories that he has found to be tried and true. Watching him made all this nature stuff make sense for the first time! Dad would burst into falsetto notes when he dabbed highlights onto little trees and bushes. My stress dissipated as we giggled watching him paint joyfully into the night. By 1am I forgot about my short comings with this whole plein air thing and instead I was reminded to thank the Lord for such a wonderful dad and incredible teacher. Thanks to dad, I wont quit Plein Air, not yet anyway. There are too many good things associated with this foreign concept to let it scare me away.  Eleanor Roosevelt said “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” This idea is also encouraged by The Little Engine That Could... so it's legit. 

My Fourth Plein Air

Oil on Canvas board
8x10

Beauty Is Embarrassing

First off, (above) was just a trailer of Beauty Is Embarrassing. I couldn't find another source with an embed code that played the full film. However, I did stumble upon this link here, where you can watch the full documentary online. 

Several people had recommended this to me before I finally watched it on Netflix last night. The film focuses on multimedia artist, Wayne White and sweetly includes his artist wife and kids. I really like this guys honesty and discoveries through failure. He is very funny and entertaining, and true to form as any comedic genius, he has a very realistic outlook on death. I wont give the movie away but, Wayne White is hard working, very accomplished and has a lot to say. In fact, it's not until almost the very end of the movie where Wayne finally touches on his idea that "beauty is embarrassing." 

Of course, I, being a sucker for revealing documentaries and human truths, loved it. I obviously don't agree with what Wayne White says about most things, but I do whole heartedly agree that beauty is, in fact, embarrassing... from the worlds perspective. If you believe that God is the originator of true beauty, then as an artist, when you create it or come upon it, you see it with the eyes that you were created to see "true beauty" through, and every time it is humbling. Being humbled is not comfortable, but oh man, is it important. I think artists are blessed to see or interpret certain parts of the spirit more easily. We get captivated by the wonder and beauty of God's creation whether it's in ourselves or found in others or in nature, artists translate it or point in out to the world even when they don't intend to or exactly know the source. 

Just as the rest of God's children, Artists do have purpose. I don't think it's a coincidence that for centuries all artist's instinct is to fight the world's disapproval. It is the world who says that art is a waist of time. I think, that instinct, that feeling that art, that beauty is a necessity, comes from the Lord. I believe, only a divine creator could love us so much to equip our hearts with the tools necessary to not only glorify Him, but to also, design us to fight for what we were given, in order to glorify him more. So, take heart creative people who are like me, who continually feel inadequate or out of place, we were designed to be who we are. We were designed to share the beauty that we seek and the beauty that we find. It's important that we do.     

1 Corinthians 12 (NIV)

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

fear of decay

Recently, I decided to become more of a "serious" artist, (Read last post for reference).I took a workshop after years of putting it off due to fear of decaying skills that was a result of putting it off. What a horrible cycular pattern! Let me just tell you, fear is not only crippling, but also a WAIST OF TIME. Yes, my skills somewhat decayed, it's fine. I'll gladly trade my pride and self-righteousness for the opportunity to keep and use what's left of my skill-set for something MUCH GREATER than my pettiness. In this newfound appreciation, I realized that my heart is on a hunt to discover more thoughtful content related to connecting creativity with Christ. It's a complicated mess being a Christian artist and I need all the help I can get. With that being said, I was delighted to listen to something that gave me peace about the way I've treated my talents, and hope for moving forward. What I stumbled upon was this sermon, click here to hear Isaac Anderson's full sermon entitled, "Birth".

Below is the "snip-it" that resounded with me in regards to my hesitation of using God's gifts:

  (I DO need to have more faith). But here is the other thing that I’ve internalized as a result of having this experience over and over and over: The fact that I continue to be so doubtful, the fact that I continue to be so skeptical that God is actually with me, to be so disbelieving.. It just puts the grace of God- for me it makes the grace of God in my life so astounding to me, so ridiculously astounding! The fact that he would continue to provide for me when I continue to think he’s not going to?! And so what I’ve started to learn slowly but surely in this process is that if I’m in a speaking moment and I have something to say that ends up being a gift to somebody else it’s not because I’ve made all the right decisions along the way. It’s not because I’ve had the right spiritual posture the whole time. It’s because God made a decision to come to me where I was and to bless me as I was and to fold my skepticism into the story of his faithfulness. It’s because of His posture towards me, it’s because He has decided to show his fidelity to me again.  So ultimately the story there is not about my strength, it’s not about my ingenuity, my creativity, my intelligence. The story actually is about the opposite of that, it’s about my weakness and His strength. It’s about my faithlessness and His faithfulness. The writing on the wall in my life is GRACE, it says “Grace”.

note: I painted "Anna Melissa" summer of 2010. She's one of my last paintings before I took Dad's workshop in March of 2013.

the orange doesn't fall far from the tree

A couple of weeks ago, I took an oil-painting workshop that my dad instructed. It was only a two-day workshop, but it was super informative and surprisingly encouraging! Pictured above is a shot of me cleaning out my brush in a tin can. I used photo reference of an orange that that was provided to each student for the "still-life fundamentals" portion of day one. Along with an agenda, he briefly addresses basic materials, pallet set-up and general color theory before the demonstrations. After each demo he gives us all ample amount of time to work, which is unheard of for an oil-painting workshop! After the two day workshop, I left with the least amount of finished oil-paintings in the class, three! For more information on Nyle Gordon, the greatest oil-painting instructor in all the lands you can visit his website, www.nylegordon.com. He is a very productive painter, not to mention a highly booked instructor and is getting better about updating his website more often between plein-air competitions and art fair season. His shows, workshops and classes are all posted under his "events" tab or you can keep up with his day to day with his FB page here.