an honest struggle

"The Potato Eaters"

1885

oil on canvas 

32"x44"

What makes Vincent Van Gogh so interesting to me is his constant struggle. In my opinion, that is what makes him and his work relatable. 

In a letter, he told his sister that his own painting of peasants eating potatoes was his best work. When "The Potato Eaters" was criticized by his artist friend Anthon van Rappard soon after it was painted, it hurt his confidence as an emerging artist. Van Gogh wrote back to his friend, "you...had no right to condemn my work in the way you did" (July 1885), and later, "I am always doing what I can't do yet in order to learn how to do it." (August 1885)

He told his brother that he wanted expand into portraits after predominantly painting "little green landscapes and flowers". Van Gogh painted from life and couldn't afford models to pose, so he bought a mirror to explore portraiture. Between the years of 1886 and 1889, Van Gogh painted over 30 self-portraits. He used portrait painting as a method of introspection and a method of developing his skills as an artist. 

To his artist friends, Van Gogh would send artworks with accompanying letters, in which humbly revealed his thoughts and processes. In these letters (including some to Paul Gauguin and Émile Bernard), he would share truths and philosophies that he discovered along the way. Below is an excerpt of a letter to his bother and then one from a letter he wrote to friend and painter, Gauguin.

“The third picture this week is a portrait of myself, almost colourless, in ashen tones against a background of pale veronese green. I purposely bought a mirror good enough to enable me to work from my image in default of a model, because if I can manage to paint the colouring of my own head, which is not to be done without some difficulty, I shall likewise be able to paint the heads of other good souls, men and women."

"I strongly urge you to study portrait painting, do as many portraits as you can and don't flag. We must win the public over later on by means of the portrait; in my opinion it is the thing of the future."

I just love Vincent Van Gogh. Most of all, I admire his posture of humbleness which seems to have a great deal to do with his philosophical perspective. I've found that the underlined shared experience that all artists have is struggle. For me, that discovery is mind blowing. All of the sudden, my own painting endeavors seem less like a solitary exploration of this big world. That bit of knowledge gives me the permission to feel as if I have part in this global collaboration that we call art. Below are some of the Van Gogh quotes that further propelled me into this daydream land:

"In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing." -Vincent Van Gogh

"Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again." -Vincent Van Gogh

"When I have a terrible need of - shall I say the word - religion. Then I go out and paint the stars." -Vincent Van Gogh

"But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things." -Vincent Van Gogh

"I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent Van Gogh

Enjoy this one minute video of a mash up of Van Gogh's self-portraits.