by omnipotent design

Thoughts about friends and family..
It is not chance or fate that has brought us together; we have had too many seasons hopelessly frosted over and too many chances to amicably walk away from this relationship. "Chance" is such a passive solution, or rather, a mystical idea that seems to purposefully and frivolously excuse any and all evidence of design in the universe. When I think about why you are so important to me- to my life, I begin to be humbled by both the mystery and the obvious. I have no doubt, that it is by omnipotent design that our souls are delicately entwined. Our journeys are separate; our wills are unique and strong. Your experiences and your individual perspectives continue to challenge my values and my judgments. Sometimes when you are silent and often when you’re speaking, wisdom comes down and quickly moves through your body- escaping through your eyes; subsequently, illuminating mine. Your truths frequently breathe life into my soul, particularly when I had no idea that I was even close to needing assistance. That’s the thing; I’ve realized that I really do need you. Not to live but to understand more of who and what I’m living for. You've helped me realize that we’re masterfully designed to be intricate parts of each other’s being. I know now that I was made to love you- regardless of how long ago we met. When I evaluate the space in my heart that you occupy, I am simultaneously reminded of my unworthiness / faithlessness and of a creator [thankfully] more faithful and full of grace than I could ever begin to understand. 
  

“I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call (any person completely) into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all (their) facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, "Here comes one who will augment our loves." For in this love "to divide is not to take away.”
- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“Friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to Heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying "Holy, Holy, Holy" to one another (Isaiah VI, 3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall all have.”
- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Happy Father's Day Nyle Douglas!!! No one could have created a more perfect man to be my teacher of life. The older I get, the more hardships and the more blessings that I encounter, this realization becomes increasingly evident. You're definitely intricately designed to be my father (which only a Heavenly Father with a love so pure and intimately knowledgable of our lives lived and yet to live could possibly create). So, I guess what I am saying is, happy Father's Day daddy!!!! I love you so much and I am eternally grateful for you!

Last year, I wrote that Father's Day wish on Facebook. I remember sobbing so hard as I typed out each word. I think, in that moment, God was granting me peace in a war torn place (specifically the after math of my divorce- for years it wreaked havoc in ALL my relationships even though it was never finalized). I still get emotional every time I read my message to dad; not out of sadness, but because it's glorious evidence of "change of hearts", a truth that the world fights so hard to hide. It serves as a reminder of the all beautiful new life that has been created out of some of the most devastating circumstances. My best friend and  husband is another daily reminder that we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made, and our hopes for ourselves are incomparable to the life that God has designed for us. Gungor articulates it more beautifully than I am able to: 

Jesus, You're the one who saves us

 constantly creates us- into something new 

Jesus, surely you will finds us 

Surely our Messiah- will make all things new

I have written this with all friends and family in mind. Oh, and I am currently listening to these two songs: