A Christ Haunted Atheist

I came across a fascinating short film featuring Anne Rice on iamsecond.com. I was actually following a link tweeted by Huffington Post focusing on another celebrity's story of redemption. I stopped in my tracks when I saw her name featured on a website specifically committed to filming personal Christian testimonies. Interview with a Vampire, that Anne Rice? Yep. Anne Rice, American author of gothic fiction and erotica. The talented writer accepted Christ after 38 years as a renowned atheist. In the film she shares her theological and creative exploration that lead her to finding her freedom in Christ, (click here to watch). Below is one of my favorite statements from the film.  

"Sometimes my books are referred to as the vampire chronicles and they're spoken of as a series, but it's not an organized series. Each book is sort of a standalone story and I think each one of the vampire novels tells pretty much the same story of grief, loss and suffering. [The novels] kind of revolt against the darkness of a life without God. I didn't see that until I had been writing for quite a long time. But that's what those novels were about. Of course what these books were doing- they were reflecting my own feelings as an atheist/ agnostic and that I was cut off from God and that I couldn't ever believe again as I had when I was a child. [They were also reflecting] my own increasing dissatisfaction with a world in which salvation is not a possibility. The reason for that dissatisfaction was simple; I really believed in God. Not only did I really believe in him, I loved Him.. and I wasn't admitting it. I was a Christ haunted person; I was a Christ haunted atheist. I was a person haunted by God and my writing is just littered with accoutrements of the struggle. And yet, there is evidence that I was called back again and again to the idea that as long as you're denying God, you'll not know any rest; you'll not know any peace. You can't save yourself through art. You can not save yourself through music- you can't do it through travel; you can't do it through wealth. All of your attempts at saving and transcending through other means will ultimately fail. God saves you when you turn to him. After 38 years [presumably around age 56], I found myself very ready to give my life over to him." -Anne Rice

Judging by the comments on the video, it seems as though this was filmed after she famously ranted in a Facebook post that she "gave up christianity", (specifically Roman Catholicism). Oh, by the way, DON'T be fooled by the finality of that statement, Anne Rice continually confirms that she remains committed to Christ, but is disassociating herself from the political agenda that has become what 'Christianity' is assumed to represent. The author reiterated that her faith in Christ was "central" to her life. 

"My conversion from a pessimistic atheist lost in a world I didn't understand to an optimistic believer in a universe created and sustained by a loving God is crucial to me," she said. "But following Christ does not mean following His followers. Christ is infinitely more important than Christianity and always will be, no matter what Christianity is, has been, or might become." Read more about the context of this statement on thegaurdian.com

I love these types of stories, these types of testaments that reveal a deep struggle with important questions and painful explorations that brutally exhaust the soul. I love them because I believe in the promise, "if you seek, you shall find". Most of all I believe that all truth is Gods truth.  

some giggles for fellow art nerds

I found this short video on HuffPost Arts & Culture today, it kind of falls under the "must share" category.  A rap battle between Pablo Picasso and Bob Ross.... um, yes please!!  

However, I'd like to think that they would have been great friends had they met in the same lifetime. Good ole Pab and Bob, I like the way that sounds.  

Enjoy the rest of your Monday.

Seek whatever is true, good and beautiful

Above is a Leonardo da Vinci study that I drew last night. "She" broke in my newest sketch book, fulfilling the hope that was mentioned in my last post. I am not stoked on referencing pre-existing fine art, but hey, I'm studying Leonardo, a man gifted with drawing truisms and mastery.

I love this quote by painter Andrew Wyeth, "I can’t work completely out of my imagination. I must put my foot in a bit of truth; and then I can fly free." 

Below are three profound multimedia artworks, each delivered from a different platform. All are definitely aesthetically pleasing, but in each of these pieces- its power actually lies in its truth. 

  

(click here for the full BuzzFeed article)

Faith47 (street artist from South Africa) 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Easily Discouraged

Last Friday night, our glamorous date has proven that the bearded fellow and I are rapidly aging. While he read a philosophy book, I did a pencil study of a Spanish Baroque painting at our local coffee shop. 

I love my new sketch for a couple reasons; First, the way that the sketchbook has cropped out her right arm reminds me of that same illusion when a "selfie" picture is taken, hilarious. Secondly, out of the blue I decided to draw from a masterpiece and instantly, my capacity of understanding light and form ballooned! I got so excited by the immediate growth that I went out and bought two art books, one on Bernini and the other on Leonardo da Vinci. I also purchased a new sketchbook with vellum finish paper, that will be specifically dedicated to drawing studies. This may seem a bit revealing for an artist but I am publicly sharing this information because I struggle so much with focus and I am easily discouraged. My hope is that this is the first post of many drawing studies to come. I'm documenting for accountability and to record possible technical growth; I am encouraging my heart to be persistent. For me, pursuing art requires me to aggressively battle my most controlling personal assumption, inadequacy. Am I the only one that struggles with that? 

Redemption Wednesday

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you. 

Isaiah 44:22

"We please Him most, not by frantically trying to make ourselves good, but by throwing ourselves into His arms with all our imperfections and believing that he understands everything--and still loves us." 

-A. W. Tozer

"I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us." 

-Anne Lamott

People Help People

"Art doesn't help people, people help people."

- herakut

I love that the Herakut duo has illustrated a child writing down this philosophy. If their message is that this is a basic human truth that we all need to remember, then I wholly agree. I think that, as artists we (generally) have certain abilities that allow us the freedom to work alone. Our job is to create things, CREATE things. Creation is obviously a powerful idea, and sometimes can powerfully drive the temptation to glorify our own works of art. We can easily become obsessed with the idea of uniqueness or technique and we lose sight of the generosity that artwork evokes. We may have single handedly created something but it's usually made to share, sell or give away. The truth is, just like everyone else (i know that statement alone turns off a lot of creatives), in some shape or another we service other human beings. I guess my point is, I need to stop treating my art as if it's going to define me, but rather view it as a gift that will help someone else. 

"May we be consumed with the creator of all things rather than with things created." 

-B. Charles Murphy